The Parent Centre

Articles

Food and eating as a parenting issue
By Dina R Rose

Did you know that even though parents are inundated with information about nutrition, most of us teach our children bad eating habits? How else can we account for the fact that bad eating habits start so early in life? Did you know that in America 1/3 of all 19-month-old toddlers eat no fruit on any given day but 90% of them consume some type of dessert, candy or sugary drink? And even though 80% of these youngsters eat vegetables, chips are the ones they’re most likely to have?

Think we’re better off here? Well, the news is pretty grim. In South Africa’s primary schools 22% of girls and 17% of boys are overweight or obese. Furthermore, 40% of children get little or no moderate exercise each week.

In response to findings like these, experts repeatedly assert the importance of good nutrition. It’s as if everyone thinks that parents only need to know more about which foods to provide — ½ cup of cottage cheese, or a serving of broccoli — and presto, our kids all will be healthy eaters. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, never have we known so much about nutrition and yet eaten so poorly. That’s because:

Eating right isn’t really about food, it’s about behaviour: what, where, why, when and how much someone chooses to eat. Nutritional considerations only partially influence these choices.

Children need to be taught how to eat right, just as they need to be taught good hygiene and manners. The younger they start learning how to do this the better off they will be — 60% of all 2-3 year olds already have diets considered “in need of improvement” and it only goes downhill from there.

Mastering three principles— proportion, variety and moderation — is the key to teaching children healthy eating habits. It is also the only way for parents to combat the impact of the food industry, and an avalanche of other social factors, on the way our kids eat.

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Bedwetting
By Trish Holgate

Bedwetting is an extremely common childhood problem. The child that is wetting under the age of about 4 years should really not be considered enuretic. Whilst the parent may long for dry sheets, the child may still not have the bladder control required before this age. Even once dryness has been achieved, the odd wet bed can be expected and is not considered a problem and should resolve itself by about age 7. This is not a 'naughty' child! Achievement of night time dryness varies enormously from child to child and so comparisons should be avoided.

If the child is over 4 years and wetting several nights a week, it can become a problem for the parent and the child. The child may feel ashamed and embarrassed and when it comes to school going age, sleep- overs become a cause of greater anxiety. Contrary to how it may sometimes seem, this child is not being stubborn, manipulative or plain 'naughty'. It is not their intention to keep you, the parent, slaving over the washing! If you and your child are battling with this problem, you need to consider possible underlying causes so that they can be addressed. Armed with some understanding, you will feel like you have more of a plan and be able to respond appropriately rather than react out of frustration and a sense of helplessness.

There are 2 types of bedwetting - primary and secondary. Primary bedwetting is when the child has never managed to achieve a significant period of night time dryness (a couple of months), but has........

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Preparing the older child for a new sibling
by Jean Welsh - Educational Psychologist and supervisor in the Parent-Infant Intervention.

"Tell your older child that you are having another baby"
"It is much better that your child hears from you that you are having another baby rather than hearing someone else suddenly asking 'Are you looking forward to having a new baby sister or brother?' "

"Accept your older child’s feelings about the new baby"
"Having a new baby will be stressful for your older child. (Just imagine your partner coming home and telling you that he plans to take on a second wife, as well as you)."

"Your older child will have feelings about being asked to make place for a new baby who will be taking over his place as the baby in the family. He may be angry, jealous, hurt."

"But children usually do not have the ability to put their feelings into words and rather tend to act out their feelings in negative behaviour. For example he may become clingy; a potty trained child may start to wet his pants, he may fight more than usual; an older child may want a bottle or dummy again."

"Your older child will be able to cope with these feelings if you are able to understand........."

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Motivating parents to leave children in educare until it is time for them to go to grade R at primary school
By Jann Watlington

"HOW DO I KNOW IF MY CHILD IS READY FOR FORMAL SCHOOLING?"

"There is a new trend to send children to Grade R when they are 4 years old going to turn 5, meaning that the child spends 2 years in the Grade R class at primary school. This article attempts to paint a picture of the 4 year old turning five and address the above question."

"WHO IS THE 4 YEAR OLD TURNING 5?"

"a) Stage of development"

"Even though each child is different, all children go through the same stages in their social and emotional development. In the first stage the 0 – 18 months child needs to develop trust in their primary caregiver, and themselves. In the second stage, the 18 months – 3 year old child needs to develop independence and begin to do things for him/herself........."

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The Circle of Courage

Adele Hamilton, a journalist and associate editor at Move magazine, was guest speaker at our Annual General Meeting on 30th August. We asked her to speak about the Circle of Courage. Below is a summary of how she introduced this very significant model of raising children.

"I am not an expert in parenting. I’m a keen amateur, with an interest propelled by the day to day challenges of raising two sons, aged 6 and 13.As my oldest son reached his teens, it slowly dawned on me that my greatest achievement as a parent would be to confidently let go and allow him to move into his individual role in society. Whatever it may........."

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The Parenting Journey of a New Mother
By Samantha Hanslo

"From the very first time I saw the double line on the home pregnancy test I knew my life as I knew it would never be the same again. But then again, this was what we'd been trying for almost two years, so I should have been ecstatically happy. Instead I was feeling so many feelings at once it was difficult to tell where one started and another one ended. My husband, though, was ecstatically happy but not so sure about how to react to my inexplicable reaction. I kept thinking........"

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